Tidewoven Inc | The Dishwasher Incident: The Carabiner Counterattack
Three days after the nameplate incident, Micah walked into the garage to grab something from his tool bag. He opened the side pocket. And froze. Sitting neatly on top of his wrenches was a brand-new, heavy-duty, stainless-steel carabiner clip. The expensive kind he actually trusted with real weight. The kind that made his little construction-goblin heart warm.
It had an engraving. Micah narrowed his eyes. He pulled it up to the light.
“DISHWASHER LOADING TRAINEE”
Under that, in smaller lettering:
“Grasshopper.”
Micah stared at it. Blankly. Silently. Like the clip had personally insulted his ancestors.
Behind him, Daniel leaned casually in the doorway, arms crossed, wearing the smuggest professor-smirk known to man. “Find something?”
Micah held up the carabiner. “You did not.”
“Oh, I absolutely did.”
Micah stepped closer, squinting at him. “’Grasshopper?’”
Daniel nodded. “You’re still learning.”
“I loaded it fine.”
Daniel shrugged. “And yet, your bowl-angle precision was lacking.”
Micah pointed at the clip. “You engraved a training rank onto a carabiner.”
“Yes,” Daniel said. “I met you on your own battlefield.”
Micah tried not to laugh. His mouth twitched. He lost. “This is petty.”
“This is justice.”
Micah flipped the clip in his hand. It was solid. Balanced. Exactly the kind he’d buy himself. Damn it. “This is actually… really good quality,” he muttered.
Daniel smirked harder. “Of course it is. I’m not a monster.”
Micah clipped it onto the strap of his tool bag, testing the hinge. “I’m not wearing ‘Trainee’ on my gear.”
“You already are.”
Micah stopped. Looked down. The carabiner gleamed proudly from the strap, announcing his dishwasher incompetence to the world. He looked up at Daniel. “I hate you.”
Daniel patted his shoulder. “You started this.”
“No,” Micah said, pointing at him. “You started this when you rearranged an entire dishwasher because you don’t believe in bowl autonomy.”
Daniel deadpanned, “There is no such thing as bowl autonomy.”
Micah shook his head, muttering to himself as he clipped the carabiner more securely: “Unbelievable.”
Daniel pushed off the doorframe. “Consider it your training badge.”
Micah shot back, “Oh, I’m getting you back.”
Daniel didn’t slow. “I look forward to it.”
Micah smirked. Daniel smirked. The dishwasher hummed in the kitchen like it approved of the escalation. Peace was restored. Balance returned. For the moment.
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