Tidewoven Inc | The Dishwasher Incident: Dramatic Beginnings
Micah stepped into the kitchen with the bone-deep satisfaction of a man who had just done something objectively productive and mildly heroic: he had loaded the dishwasher. Correctly. Efficiently. Logically. He opened the fridge for a bottle of water. When he closed the door, Daniel was standing at the dishwasher with the door open and the racks halfway pulled out. He was rearranging everything. Plates. Cups. Silverware. All of it.
Micah froze.
Daniel froze.
Lucy, perched on a stool with her knees tucked under her like a gremlin, watched the whole thing over her cereal bowl. Her eyes were huge. She knew a show when she saw one.
Micah spoke first. “I just loaded that.”
Daniel did not look up. “I know.”
Micah blinked. “Then why are you… doing whatever you are doing.”
“It was inefficient,” Daniel said. He moved two bowls and one mug like the fate of the free world depended on their placement. “Water can’t circulate if the plates create a barrier.”
Micah stared at the plates. “There is no barrier.”
Daniel made a small, tight sound that could be described as annoyed teacher running out of patience for a particularly dense student. “There is absolutely a barrier.”
Micah crossed his arms. “I loaded it based on the manual.”
“The manual is a general guideline.”
“It is the rule.”
“No, it is a suggestion.”
Lucy looked between them as if she were watching Wimbledon. She shoved another spoonful of sugary cereal her mother would absolutely not let her eat into her mouth without breaking eye contact with the argument.
Micah took a slow breath and tried to be an adult. He tried really hard. “Daniel,” he said carefully, “I loaded it two minutes ago. You immediately walked in here and started pulling it apart.”
Daniel finally looked up. His jaw flexed. “Because you put the bowls in the wrong place.”
“They are in the bowl section.”
“They are at the wrong angle.”
“They are at the angle they fit.”
Daniel closed his eyes like he was praying for strength. “They are going to flip when the water pressure hits.”
Lucy whispered, “I love this.”
Micah rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I have worked construction. I can move sixteen-ton beams. I can hang off metal scaffolding in a storm. I can rebuild half an engine with just the tools in my truck.”
“And yet,” Daniel said, pointing at the dishwasher, “you cannot load this machine in a remotely sane way.”
“That is a ridiculous thing to say.”
Lucy raised her hand like she was in a classroom. “Uncle Micah, Mom says you can do anything. Except taxes. And folding fitted sheets.”
Micah pressed his lips together. “Your mother is on thin ice.”
Daniel shut the dishwasher with a firm click. “There. Now it will actually clean.”
Micah’s eye twitched. “It would have cleaned before.”
“No, it would have sloshed angrily and left food stuck on everything.”
Lucy made a delighted gasp. “Dad, you sound just like the dishwasher.”
Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose.
Micah exhaled hard, grabbed his water, and muttered, “I’m going to the garage.”
Daniel muttered back, “Good. The dishwasher will be safe.”
Lucy watched Micah stalk out, then leaned toward her father. “Dad. That was spicy.”
Daniel sighed. “I know.”
She looked at the closed dishwasher. “Is he going to be mad?”
“No,” Daniel said. “He is going to pretend he is not mad for the next two hours, then he will fix something on his truck until he feels normal again.”
Lucy nodded in deep understanding, tapped her spoon twice on her bowl, and announced, “I’m so glad Uncle Micah moved in with us.”
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A scene played out in so many households LOL