Tidewoven Inc | Micah Rowe vs Pinterest
Micah sits at the kitchen table like the phone just insulted him. Elise left it there for him on purpose because she’s sick of watching him suffer in silence every time the girls hand him their latest Pinterest craft masterpiece with big, hopeful eyes. He stares at the screen. Pinterest stares back. Endless pastel squares. Fonts that feel like they’re judging him. A wall of DIY projects that assume he knows how to hold a hot glue gun without ending up in the ER.
He scrolls once. The algorithm interprets this as enthusiasm and explodes with “More like this.” He flinches.
A wreath made of cinnamon sticks.
A 17-step casserole that claims to be “easy.”
A motivational quote about embracing chaos.
Micah’s eyebrow twitches. Chaos is not something he embraces. Chaos is something he survives.
He mutters, “I don’t understand what you want from me,” like Pinterest is a person. The phone makes a cheerful notification sound, which somehow feels like mockery.
Elise walks by, sees the look on his face, and loses it. She laughs so hard she has to lean on the counter. He glares at her, which only makes her laugh harder.
“You’ll survive,” she says. “It’s Pinterest, not the high seas.”
He lifts the phone again, resigned. “I’d rather fight the high seas.”
Two minutes later, the algorithm recommends “10 Romantic Surprises for Your Partner,” and he nearly throws the phone across the room.
Elise hears the low, frustrated groan and calls out, “Take a breath, captain. It’s just an app.”
Micah stares at the “romantic surprises” board like it holds state secrets. He quietly turns the phone facedown, stands, and walks out of the room without a word.
“That’s it?” Elise calls after him.
He pauses in the doorway. “There’s a reason humans shouldn’t know everything,” he says. “Pinterest proves it.”
Then he’s gone.
And the phone, still facedown on the table, lights up again with a cheerful suggestion:
“More ideas for you!”
Chaos is not something he embraces. Chaos is something he survives.
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Oh Micah.
I absolutely agree with you about the nightmare that is Pinterest. I don’t think I’ve understood why it thinks I’m interested in the bizarre things it throws up. And how on earth are you supposed to navigate it? I guess, if I cared even a tiny bit, I could work it out LOL