How I Started Reclaiming Joy in Midlife (And You Can Too)

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There was a time when joy felt far away. Not gone exactly, but tucked somewhere deep, under piles of laundry, to-do lists, and the steady hum of “shoulds.”

Then one day, I realized something: I missed myself. I missed the lighthearted girl who danced in the kitchen, the one who believed magic could be found in the smallest things. So I made a quiet decision: I was going to start reclaiming joy. Not all at once. Just one tiny moment at a time.

The Gentle Art of Noticing

The first step was simple. I started to notice. The way the morning light painted golden stripes on the floor. The sound of birdsong as I sipped my coffee. The scent of fresh laundry, still warm.

Joy isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s as soft as a whisper, asking you to slow down and see what’s already there.

“Sparkle in the middle of ordinary.” That became my quiet mantra.

And it all started in a really weird way. I live in North Texas, and summers are brutal and hot; it’s not uncommon to try to break the local record for most consecutive days above 100 degrees Fahrenheit.

(hint: it always hovers somewhere just north of 90!)

I get angrier the hotter I get. Three summers ago, trying to stay cool by staying indoors and away from as many people as possible so as not to rip off anyone’s face, I started binge-watching a TV show from a few years ago called Scorpion. I immediately fell in love with the premise, the characters, the adventure, the humor, the heart.

And then I did something I hadn’t done in nearly twenty years: I wrote a fanfic for the series and posted it.

I’ve always loved to read and write, but reading and writing for pleasure came and went in various seasons of my life. This time, because the children were older and my life was slower, I had more mental bandwidth to write, really write, dig in and do something just for me, just for the fun of it.

And when I did that, so many other parts of my life opened up more. I laughed more. I tried new things more often. I fell more in love with my husband. And so much more. All from one tiny inconsequential decision, and intentionally choosing to make something just for me a priority.

Small Acts That Open the Door to Joy

Joy doesn’t require big changes. In fact, it loves to slip in through the side door when you’re not looking. Here are a few tiny things that helped me (and might help you too):

1. Morning Moments Just for Me

Instead of jumping straight into emails or chores, I gave myself ten minutes. Sometimes I read something beautiful. Sometimes I just watch the sunrise. But those ten minutes felt like a love letter to my soul.

2. Bringing Beauty Into the Everyday

I lit the “fancy” candle on an ordinary Tuesday. I used the good teacup for my afternoon tea. I added fresh flowers to the grocery list. Little luxuries reminded me that life doesn’t have to be special to be beautiful.

3. Letting Myself Be Silly

I danced to old ’80s songs while making dinner. I wore a sparkly headband to the store just because. When I let myself be silly, I felt more me.

4. Saying No (So I Could Say Yes)

I started to gently say no to things that drained me, even good things. That made space for more of what filled me up: laughter, rest, creative play.

Finding Magic in the Middle

Midlife can feel like the middle of the story. The part where things settle. But I’ve learned that’s when magic can bloom if we let it.

I began asking myself, What would little-me love to do today? Sometimes the answer was simple: read under a blanket, take a walk in the woods, bake something sweet.

Every time I said yes to those small joys, I felt more alive.

Your Joy Invitation: Start Small

If you’re ready to reclaim joy, start tiny. One moment. One choice. One small act of beauty or silliness or rest.

Here are a few ideas:

• Buy yourself fresh flowers.
• Read a book just for fun.
• Have a tea party (even if it’s just you).
• Watch the clouds for five minutes.

Joy isn’t something we have to earn. It’s something we can welcome back, gently, kindly, and in our own time.

A Gentle Reminder: You Are the Crown

If you’re craving more joy, beauty, and self-kindness, I’d love to gift you You Are The Crown—a free printable designed to remind you that you’re already worthy, already radiant, already enough.

It’s filled with simple affirmations and gentle prompts to help you reconnect with your heart, your magic, and your joy.

Because you don’t need fixing, you just need reminding.