Tidewoven Inc | The Dishwasher Incident: Carmen’s Counter-Counterattack (a.k.a. The Maternal Smackdown)
Daniel called his mother. Of course he did. He needed her to butt out. He needed justice. He needed to explain to her the sacred geometry of dishwasher loading. He forgot one thing: Carmen Reyes loves Micah like a second son. But she also LOVES chaos.
Daniel paced the living room, marker rail tucked under his arm like evidence, phone pressed against his ear. “Mom,” he said urgently, “Micah embarrassed me in front of my entire class. He put a dishwasher sticker, that you bought, on my board and engraved—”
Carmen cut him off. “Mijo, stop.”
“But—”
“Stop.”
Daniel froze. “Are you still taking his side?”
“I am taking the side of fun. You boys need it.”
Daniel’s mouth fell open. Carmen hung up. Micah, in the garage, heard faint shouting from inside: “My own mother has turned against me!” He smiled.
Daniel walked out to his car the next morning and stopped dead. Because sitting on the hood of his Prius, in a neat little gift bag with a gold ribbon, was something that made his soul briefly exit his body: A custom-made vinyl bumper sticker. White letters. Bold font. Tastefully hideous.
It read: “ASK ME ABOUT MY DISHWASHER LOADING TECHNIQUE”
Underneath, in smaller script:
“I am a licensed educator.”
Daniel made a strangled noise. “OH MY GOD—”
Elise opened the front door, leaning on the frame, sipping coffee. “Oh, good,” she said. “It arrived.”
Daniel whirled. “You knew?!”
Elise shrugged. “Mom said she wanted to help you ‘express your passions.’”
Micah stepped onto the porch behind her, stretching. He saw the sticker. He froze. Then— He broke. Bent double. Hands on knees. Laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe.
Daniel pointed at him like a man betrayed. “YOU—
YOU DID THIS—
YOU AND MOM—
YOU’RE BOTH MONSTERS.”
Carmen’s voice drifted sweetly down from her car as she pulled into the driveway to drop off something she baked: “No, mijo,” she called, smiling like a villain of legend. “Micah had nothing to do with it. Lucy told me the story, and I simply had to.”
Micah wheezed. “It’s… it’s so beautiful— I wish I could take credit for it.”
Daniel held up a hand. “Micah. Listen to me. If you say one word, I will put this sticker on your precious beast.”
Micah wiped tears from his eyes. “Do it. Driftwood deserves to wear your shame with pride.”
Carmen parked, climbed out, and approached Daniel with the warm, deadly calm of a mother who has raised multiple children and knows exactly how to end a war. She placed her hands on Daniel’s shoulders. “Mi amor,” she said.
“This is what happens when you raise a family. You learn to laugh.”
Daniel deflated. “But he— he— he—”
Micah waved helpfully. “I engraved a title for you.”
Carmen patted Daniel’s cheek. “And it was thoughtful.”
Daniel stared at her. “Thoughtful…”
“Sí. He sees you.”
Daniel blinked. Micah paused at that, too.
Carmen stepped back, surveying both of them like a general addressing her troops. “Now put the bumper sticker on your car.”
Daniel choked. “What?! No— absolutely not—” Carmen raised a single eyebrow. Daniel wilted. He peeled the backing. He stuck the bumper sticker on. He died inside.
Lucy, watching from the doorway, whispered reverently: “This is the greatest day of my life.”
Nora crossed her arms. “I can make Dad a certificate.”
Micah leaned over to Daniel and murmured: “Grasshopper.”
Daniel closed his eyes. “I hate all of you.”
Carmen kissed his forehead. “We love you too.”
Later that day, Micah walked into the garage to grab his tool bag and stopped. Because clipped to Driftwood’s rearview mirror was a small laminated card in Carmen’s handwriting:
“MICAH ROWE — Certified Dishwasher Loading Apprentice (Officially Recognized by the Reyes Household Council)”
Micah stared at it. His throat tightened. He whispered, “…Reyes Household Council? Mom wasn’t kidding when she said she was only on the side of chaos. Maybe pulling her into this wasn’t the smartest move.”
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What?! No! Micah is actually a Michael?! Didn’t he like the ‘el’? Did the pen run out of ink when he learned to write his name?
Never mind the dishwasher shenanigans! I need an enquiry into the main character’s name!
And I love Carmen’s mischief LOL
You can’t trust autocorrect! And now my previous comment has absolutely no context LOL