Tidewoven Inc | The Dishwasher Incident: The Whiteboard War

Daniel was in the middle of setting up his U.S. History lecture when he noticed something was… off. The room was empty. The lights were on. The projector was warming up. But his whiteboard markers, the four-pack he kept clipped neatly to the board rail, were attached to a new, unfamiliar magnetic marker holder. One he hadn’t bought.

He stepped closer. It was a sleek, anodized aluminum strip with an engraved nameplate in the corner. He frowned. Then he read it.

DANIEL REYES

WHITEBOARD DOMINANCE EXPERT

(Subtext: “Because apparently you need a title for everything.”)

Daniel blinked. He checked the door. Empty hallway. He looked back at the engraving, leaned in, and squinted. Under the main line, so small it almost blended into the metal:

“P.S. The bowls were fine.” — M.R.

Daniel closed his eyes. Hard. “Oh my God.” He rubbed his forehead like that might erase the lettering. It didn’t. When he opened his eyes again, something else caught his attention. A sticker. Not a childish sticker. No, Micah had gone full design-mode. A professionally printed decal on the bottom corner of the whiteboard: A tiny dishwasher icon.

With the caption:

“Certified Instructor of Dishwasher Loading Theory”

Daniel let out a low, murderous whisper. “MICAAAAAAH—”

His students filtered in, settling into desks.

A girl in the front row pointed. “Mr. Reyes, what’s that?”

Daniel stiffened. “Nothing.”

Another kid snorted. “Dude, does that say Dishwasher Loading Theory?”

Daniel froze, then sighed, deflated. “Yes. Yes, it does.”

The students cackled.

“Oh my god, Mr. Reyes, you teach dishwasher loading?”

“Is that an elective?”

“Can we get extra credit?”

Daniel’s face went dead serious. “No. No one gets extra credit.”

A senior in the back: “Mr. Reyes, were your plates at a bad angle?”

Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered, “I hate everyone.” Then the classroom erupted. One kid mimed loading dishes. Another mimed rearranging them.

Someone shouted, “MR. REYES, CAN YOU DEMONSTRATE OPTIMAL WATER FLOW TRAJECTORY?”

Daniel swiveled toward the board and forcibly began the lecture.

“Today,” he said loudly over the giggles, “we are starting the New Deal.”

From the back: “Was FDR a Dishwasher Loading Savant too?”

Daniel wished the ground would open up and swallow him.

---

Micah was tightening a bolt on Driftwood when the garage door creaked open. Daniel stepped inside. He held up the engraved marker rail like a lawyer presenting Exhibit A. Micah didn’t look up. “I see you found your gift.”

Daniel’s eye twitched. “Students were involved.”

Micah nodded. “Ah.”

Daniel stepped closer, voice deadly calm. “One student asked me if Hoover was impeached for poor dishwasher ethics.”

Micah finally grinned. “He wasn’t, but honestly? He could’ve been.”

Daniel pointed the marker holder at him. “This is war.”

Micah straightened, wiped his hands on a rag, and said with terrifying serenity, “I know.”

Daniel softened. Just barely. “Did you really add a dishwasher sticker to my board?”

“Yes.”

Daniel struggled to collect his thoughts. “…Where did you get a dishwasher sticker?”

Micah shrugged. “Amazon.”

Daniel stared at him. Micah stared back. Finally, Daniel muttered, “You don’t shop on Amazon. I’m calling Mom. She’s taking your side. This has her written all over it.”

Micah smirked. “Bring it.”

Daniel walked out with the marker rail under his arm, muttering profanity that would get him fired if a student heard. Micah returned to his work, deeply satisfied. Dishgate lived on.

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